#4. Yesurim/hardships/tests

It might appear that if somebody is afflicted with suffering, this is a sign that Hashem is angry with him. But the Gemara in Masechet Berachot teaches that the precise opposite is true - those whom Hashem loves the most endure hardship, as the pasuk says, כי את אשר יאהב ה' יוכיח (Hashem reprimands those whom He loves).

 

The Shechinah rests upon somebody who is afflicted. The Torah tells that Yaakov Avinu offered sacrifices לאלקי אביו יצחק - "to the G-d of his father, Yitzhak." The Midrash comments that although Hashem generally does not associate His Name with a tzadik until after the tzadik's death, He nevertheless allowed Himself to be called אלקי יצחק during Yitzhak's lifetime because Yitzhak was enduring suffering.

 

Yisurim (afflictions) cleanse a person and bring him atonement. Rabbi Yaakov Galinsky told the story of a certain gravely ill patient who had no relatives and suffered terribly, having to be connected to a respirator. The physician attending to him, who was not religious, decided on his own that no purpose was served by having this man continue to suffer, and so he pulled the plug. Several days later, the man came to the doctor in a dream and said, "I was supposed to live for another four days, and the suffering I was to endure during those four days would have allowed me to go straight into Gan Eden. But because of you I missed those afflictions." The doctor was shaken up and became a ba'al teshuvah.

 

Hazal teach us that the greatest level a person can achieve is accepting suffering with love. The Maharal says about this level, אין למעלה ממנו - there is no greater achievement. The Vilna Gaon had a daughter who died the day before her wedding, ל"ע. His mother came to him in a dream and said, "If you knew what you accomplished by accepting this tragedy with love, you would have danced at your daughter's funeral more than you would have danced at her wedding." The Midrash comments that if Iyov had accepted his suffering without complaints, then his name would have been added to the Amidah prayer; we would have recited, אלקי אברהם אלקי יצחק אלקי יעקב ואלקי איוב ("G-d of Avraham, G-d of Yitzhak, G-d of Yaakov, and G-d of Iyov").

 

Of course, this sounds to us very unrealistic. We cannot help wondering, how can we be happy when we're experiencing pain? But this is precisely why accepting yisurin with love is such a great spiritual achievement - because it is so difficult. And we must realize that this is not a matter of all or nothing. There are different levels of accepting yisurim. The Slonimer Rebbe comments that if a person is not on the level where he could accept suffering with joy, he can nevertheless achieve a great spiritual level simply by recognizing that he is supposed to accept it with joy.

 

This is certainly a very difficult challenge, and we obviously do not ask for suffering or wish it upon ourselves or anyone else. Even the Sages of the Gemara said, לא הן ולא שכרן - we prefer not to experience suffering and forfeit the reward it brings. The Maharal explains that the Sages were afraid of being unable to respond properly to yisurim. But if a person does experience hardship, he has the opportunity to reach the highest possible levels. Even if he cannot be happy, he achieves a remarkable accomplishment by not complaining and continuing to serve Hashem.

 

Rashi comments in Masechet Sanhedrin that if a person who involves himself in mitzvot, such as charity, experiences hardship and does not complain, and instead continues performing his mitzvot, he achieves the level of צדיק גמור (a completely righteous person). Everyone, on his or her own level, can become a tzadik by accepting hardship without complaint.

 

There was a Rabbi who needed to periodically undergo a certain painful medical procedure, and each time he would recite before the treatment, הנני מוכן ומזומן לקבל יסורין באהבה - "I am hereby prepared to accept hardship with love." And there are many ordinary laymen who live difficult lives but manage to retain their faith and remain religiously committed, continuing their efforts to draw close to Hashem despite the hardships they endure. These people bring a great deal of נחת רוח (satisfaction) to Hashem. Their accepting hardship not only yields great spiritual benefits, but also enables them to cope with life's problems, remain strong, and carry on their lives as usual.

 

                                                                             #5 A Heartfelt Prayer 

The holy books are filled with descriptions of many different segulot ("charms") and pieces of advice for obtaining what one wants in this world. But when all is said and done, we must realize that the most important and effective segulah is a heartfelt prayer. Rav Yerucham writes that the יסוד הבריאה כולה - the "foundation of all of creation" - is that everything is attained only through prayer. Whether it's our prayers, our parents' prayers, or our grandparents' prayers - everything we have, all our blessings, have been received because of tefillah. No matter a great a person is, he needs to ask in order to receive.

 

Our matriarchs were blessed with children only through tefillah. As we read in this week's parashah, Parashat Vayetze, וישמע אלקים אל לאה ותלד ליעקב בן - "G-d listened to Leah, and she bore a child for Yaakov." It similarly says regarding Rachel, וישמע אליה אלקים ויפתח את רחמה - "G-d listened to her, and opened her womb." Our ancestors' redemption from Egypt was the result of their tefillot, as the pasuk states, וישמע אלקים את נאקתם - "G-d heard their pleas." Even though He had promised the avot that He would release their descendants from bondage, their freedom nevertheless depended upon their heartfelt prayers. And after the sin of the golden calf, Hashem decided to annihilate Beneh Yisrael, and they were saved only through the prayers of Moshe Rabbenu. In Egypt, Moshe had to pray for the plagues to end, and Yaakov Avinu had to pray to be saved from Esav. Everything needs tefillah. We must repeatedly reinforce our belief that whenever we want something, we have to ask for it.

 

Hazal also teach us that when Hashem answers our prayer, we should not stop praying. We should enjoy and celebrate what we've received, and thank Hashem with all our heart, but also continue asking for more. After Leah delivered her fourth child, she proclaimed, הפעם אודה את ה' - "This time I shall thank Hashem" - whereupon she stopped having children. The Ibn Ezra explains that Leah at that point felt she was already blessed with her share of children, and therefore stopped praying for children. And once she stopped praying, she stopped conceiving.

 

The Rambam writes that a person should always express gratitude to Hashem for the past and pray for the future. If we are blessed with health, intelligence, a livelihood and children, then we should constantly express our appreciation to Hashem and thank Him with all our heart, recognizing that He is the one who has given us all these wonderful blessings, and everything we have. But we must also continue praying to Hashem that He continue blessing us. The pasuk says in Tehillim, לך אזבח זבח תודה ובשם ה' אקרא - "I offer to You a thanksgiving sacrifice, and I call out in the Name of Hashem." We first bring a sacrifice to express gratitude to Hashem, and then we pray to Him for continued success in the future.

 

When Rachel finally bore a child after many years of infertility, she said, אסף אלקים את חרפתי, thanking Hashem for eliminating her shame. But she did not name the child Assaf to commemorate this proclamation. Instead, she prayed for yet another child - יוסף ה' לי בן אחר - and named her child Yosef. The commentators explain that Rachel did not want to just thank Hashem for what she was given, and instead offered a prayer for the future, and she chose a name to commemorate both elements, incorporating both the gratitude for the past and the prayer for the future.

 

Hashem loves when we thank Him and express our appreciation for what He does for us, but also when we realize that we depend on Him for our future success. And this is why tefillah is so important.

 

This is our job each and every day - to recognize the kindnesses Hashem performs for us, to thank Him with all our heart, and then continue begging for continued blessing.

 

#6 Hope In Hashem 

There are people who have been waiting for years to get married, and after so many years they begin thinking to themselves, "Why should I even bother trying anymore?  It's hopeless.  I've been trying.  I've been praying.  I've done everything possible for twenty years now, and nothing worked.  It must be I missed my chance."

There are other people who have been waiting for years to have children.  They think to themselves, "We've tried everything.  We've prayed, we've gone to doctors, we've gotten blessings from Rabbis, but still we have no children.  It will never happen."

We must constantly remind ourselves that with Hashem, there is always hope.  As long as we have hope, He has hope.  The pasuk says, וידעת כי אני ה' אשר לא יבושו קוי - "You shall know that I am Hashem, that those who place hope in Me are not ashamed."  

Somebody told me of a story that appeared in Binah magazine about a woman who had her first child at the age of 52.  Many years earlier, when she was much younger, she had received a blessing from a Rabbi that she would one day have a son.  Because of this blessing, she never gave up hope.  She kept telling herself, "Hashem will answer my prayers; I have to be patient."  Nearly 900 attended the berit, and she is now pushing a stroller with her very own child.  We must never lose hope.

The Midrash tells that Hannah prayed for 19 years to have children.  Everyone else gave up hope.  Even her husband Ekanah urged her to give up, and said to her, "Aren't I better to you than ten sons?"  But Hannah did not listen.  She said to herself, "I still have Hashem.  I am going to continue praying."  And through her tefillot she was blessed with children.

The pasuk states, וקוי ה' יחליפו כח- those who place their hope in Hashem always have renewed strength.  They are always upbeat and optimistic, because they know they can always be helped.  We constantly need to reinforce this belief.  The Gemara says:

אמר רב חנא בר חנינא: אם ראה אדם שהתפלל ולא נענה, יחזור ויתפלל

Rav Hana bar Hanina said: If a person sees that he prayed but was not answered, he should pray again.

Rav Hana cites as the source of this concept the verse in Tehillim, קוה אל ה' חזק ויאמץ לבך וקוה אל ה' - "Hope in Hashem" - and if you are not answered, then "strengthen and reinforce your heart, and hope to Hashem."  Reinforce your faith, and pray again.  

Continuing to pray even when the situation feels hopeless not only brings one the salvation he needs, but also constitutes a great act of service to G-d in its own right.  The Sefer Ikrim writes that having hope in Hashem is greater than any praise a person can possibly give Him.  He cites the pasuk, ואני תמיד איחל והוספתי על כל תהילתך - "I will always hope [for Hashem], and I will add onto all Your praises."  David speaks here of "adding" onto G-d's praises, despite the fact that elsewhere in Tehillim he says, לך דומיה תהילה - it is proper to refrain from praising G-d, as it is impossible to give Him befitting praise; any praise we give will be woefully deficient.  How could David say he will add to G-d's praises, if we are discouraged from singing G-d's praises?  The Sefer Ikrim explains that having hope in Hashem is a greater expression of praise than any words we can possibly say.  When we pin our hopes on G-d, we show our belief that He is capable of doing anything.

Another pasuk says, טוב ה' לקויו - "Hashem is good to those who hope in Him."  One should never say, "I must have missed my chance, it's too late."  It's never too late.  The Rabbis teach that Leah was supposed to marry Esav, and everybody knew that this was the case.  It seemed like a foregone conclusion.  But Leah prayed and cried, and in the end she not only married Yaakov, but also became the mother of the Kehunah, of the Jewish kingship, and of the Torah scholars.  It's never too late, so we must keep on praying and trying.  May we all be granted the privilege of witnessing and experiencing Hashem's salvation in our own lives.

 

 

                                                          #9 Hashem I always Need You with me. 

The pasuk says in Tehillim, ה' ישמור צאתך - "Hashem shall guard you when you leave." We leave our homes for many different reasons - work, prayer, learning, errands, etc. - and sometimes we are just going down the block. David Ha'melech here does not specify the reason one is leaving on a trip - because all departures, no matter where one is going, require Hashem's protection. We should never take anything for granted. In fact, studies show that most car accidents happen within five minutes of a person's home. There are no guarantees. We need Hashem's protection at all times, no matter where we are going.

 

This point was obvious to the great tzadikim. When Avraham sent his servant, Eliezer, to find a wife for Yitzhak, Eliezer asked him what he should do if the suitable girl does not want to come with him to marry Yitzhak. The Midrash comments, based on the pesukim, that at that moment Avraham offered an impassioned prayer to G-d asking that his servant's trip would be successful. Avraham was world famous and fabulously wealthy. We might have expected him to think that people would be lining up to join his family. But this is not the way he approached the situation. He knew there are never any guarantees. We always need Hashem's help.

 

The Torah warns against the feeling of כחי ועוצם ידי עשה לי את החיל הזה - "My strength and the power of my hand made for me this wealth." We are to remember that הוא הנותן לך כח לעשות חיל - it is Hashem who gives us the capacity to acquire wealth. The Targum Onkelos translates this phrase to mean that it is Hashem who gives us the ideas with which we obtain wealth. If somebody had a good idea how to grow his business and he made money, it was Hashem who put this idea in his head so he could succeed. We have to accustom ourselves to this kind of thinking - that we always need Hashem's help. No matter how smart a person is, how wealthy he is, or how charismatic he is, everything he has was given to him by the Almighty, and he needs the Almighty in order to keep it.

 

The Otzar Midrashim tells the story of a wealthy man who was very charitable but believed that he was successful because of his intelligence and hard work. Once he was on his way to purchase animals for his business, when Eliyahu Ha'navi met him along the road, appearing as another merchant. Eliyahu asked him where he was headed, and the man explained he was going to purchase animals for his enterprise.

 

"You know," Eliyahu said, "you should say that you are going 'be'ezrat Hashem' - with G-d's help."

 

"Why?" the man asked. "I have the money, I know how to negotiate. I'll do just fine on my own."

 

"If you think like that," Eliyahu warned, "you are not going to be successful." The man ignored him and walked away. As he walked, his wallet fell out of his pocket, and Eliyahu picked it up and placed on a nearby stone.

 

The man went to the market, worked very hard finding the perfect animals, and negotiated a terrific price. But when it came time to pay, he realized he did not have his wallet, and the deal fell through.

 

He returned home to get more money and put it in a new wallet. On his way back to the market, he again encountered Eliyahu, who this time had disguised as an old man. Once again, he asked the man where he was going, and the man explained he was going to buy animals for his business. As in the previous instance, he did not say that he was going "be'ezrat Hashem." Eliyahu gave him another warning, but the man still ignored him.

 

Feeling very tired, the man sat down and took a nap. As he slept, Eliyahu took the wallet from his pocket, and placed it on the same rock. When the man woke up, he found his wallet was missing, and was dismayed. At that point he realized that he needed Hashem's help, and all his business acumen and experience guaranteed him nothing.

 

When he came back a third time, he met Eliyahu who was now disguised as a young boy. The boy asked where he was going, and he told him he was going to buy animals for his business, "with G-d's help."

 

"If you need help bringing the animals back to the town," the boy said, "please let me know, as I am available to help."

 

The man went to the market, found the animals he needed for a good price, made his purchases, and then asked the boy to help him get home. As they walked, one of the animals left the herd and ran away, stopping by that rock. The man came to the rock and saw the two wallets he had lost.

 

"Baruch Hashem," the man said, "Hashem gave me back all my money."

 

The more we recognize how much we need Hashem's help, and the more we ask for His help, the more help He will give us.

היום הרת עולם - Rosh Hashanah is the day of the world's "birth."  The Rabbis teach us that every year on Rosh Hashanah, the world is recreated.  We start again fresh.  Whatever was before Rosh Hashanah has nothing at all to do with what will be after Rosh Hashanah.  We say, תכלה שנה וקללותיה, תחל שנה וברכותיה - "May the year end with its curses, may the year begin with its blessings."  Please G-d, those who are sick will be healthy; those who are not yet married will find their shidduch; those who are struggling to make a living will find good jobs; childless couples will be granted the blessing of children.

On the first day of Rosh Hashanah, we read the stories of Sarah and Hannah, who went years without any children until finally, on Rosh Hashanah, Hashem changed everything and blessed them with children who lit up the world with their piety.  We must first recognize that Hashem is the King, that אין עוד מלבדו - there is no one and nothing besides Him.  As thepasuk says, אני ראשון ואני אחרון ומבלעדי אין אלקים - Hashem existed before the world's creation, He will remain after everything ceases to exist, and there is nothing besides Him.

In one of the High Holiday hymns we say, הודאי שמו כן תהילתו- the more one believes that there is nothing besides Hashem, the more powerful his prayers will be.  Recognizing Hashem's kingship can bring all the salvations which we need.

The Gemara in Masechet Berachot tells us which prayer Hannah recited which resulted in her being blessed with a child: רבונו של עולם, מכל צבאי צבאות שבראת בעולמך קשה בעיניך ליתן לי בן אחד.  Hannah said, "Master of the world, You created everything - the sun, the moon, the stars, everything that exists.  Is it so difficult for You to grant me one child?"  The Gemara draws an analogy to a poor man who stood at the doorway of a lavish royal feast and asked for a piece of bread.  After his request was ignored, he pushed his way to the king and exclaimed, "My dear king, out of this huge feast, is it so difficult for you to give me just one piece of bread?"

The question arises, why was specifically this prayer answered?  After years of praying, why was this prayer the one that succeeded in having Hannah's request granted?

The work Ki Atah Imadi explains by noting, based upon a Midrash, that the word צבאות has a connotation of order and protocol.  In the Gemara's story, the poor man's plea was ignored because the feast was carefully arranged in a particular order.  Every nobleman and official was seated at his assigned place, and all the food was set up and distributed according to a strict protocol.  Nobody could just come in and sit down where he wanted or take whatever food he wanted.  But then the poor man ran up to the king and said, "I understand there is a protocol, but all this is made in your honor, to bring you glory.  Everything is here because of you.  And can't you find me a place and include me?"

This was Hannah's plea.  After many years of tearful prayer, she came to the conclusion that everything in the world is arranged in a set, detailed order according to a system.  Some people are meant to raise children, and others aren't.  Each person has a different mission to fulfill.  But then Hannah said, "Who is this order for?  Why are we all given missions to complete?  It is all for You, Hashem!  You are the king.  So can't You find a way to give me the job of raising children?  Can't You let me honor You that way?"

This mindset, that everything is from Hashem, He is in charge and He can change anything in an instant, that there is always a solution, is what brought the Hannah the answer to her prayers. הודאי שמו כן תהילתו.  The extent of Hashem's kingship became so clear to her.

On Rosh Hashanah, our job is to focus our attention on Hashem, to understand more fully what it means that He is the king of the world.  And the more we focus on Him, the more He will focus on us.